Zakuro


I screamed out your name, even my voice will probably never reach you
But you know, now I'm okay with that...
Someday in my heart you'll be...

Practice was over. The last notes of the last song they'd played faded away into the silent studio dramatically. The members of Dir en grey stood perfectly still, poised, as they listened.

Then, all at once, Kyo let out a loud breath of air with a grin, slinging his arms around Kaoru and Toshiya's waists.

"Finally. We're free. Let's go out and do something. I'm bored always returning to my apartment all alone," he whined. Kaoru snorted and broke away from him so that he could put his guitar away, quickly snapping the case closed, and lifted it up to leave.

"Sorry, Kyo; I have plans with Kumiko. We're supposed to be going over the CD book layout, and the track listings tonight over some dinner. So...I'll catch you four later. Feel free to party to your hearts' contents!" With a grin and a laugh, Kao saluted to the rest of his band before hurrying out. Kyo pouted after him before practically pouncing on the bassist.

"Let's go, then! The rest of us! It'll be fun, ne? It's been a while since we all went out last! What do you say, Totchi? Die? Shin-chan?" he prompted. Toshiya eyed him for a few minutes as he slowly went about putting away his bass, then nodded in agreement.

"Sure, sure! It sounds like a good idea! Come on, Die-kun, Shinya-kun! Hurry up!" he exclaimed, nearly bouncing around in excitement. Die grinned to him and waved him away.

"Nah, I'm kinda tired. I'll catch you later, yeah?" he replied, taking his time in putting his guitar away. Shinya shook his head.

"...No...I have to head home...Errands to run..." was his quiet answer as he leaned down to pick up the ever-present water bottle. Opening it, he took a long drink before closing it and putting it away. Then he stretched his arms over his head and arched his back; it cracked audibly, and he winced slightly. Totchi shrugged.

"Alright then, suit yourselves.." With that, the two were gone, leaving the redheaded guitarist and the blonde drummer alone in the studio. Shinya began gathering up his stuff, slipping his drum sticks into his bag and standing up with his jacket. Giving a smile to the guitarist, he slipped around the drum set and started for the door.

A hand on his arm stopped him, and he turned to see Die's face, blushing furiously. His brows furrowed a bit with concern, a silent question in his eyes as to what the elder wanted.

"Ah, Shin...I...er..I was wonder if, well, if you'd like to, uh...go out with me tonight...? I mean, nothing serious, just that...well...we never spend time together, so...Do you want to go to dinner?" Die stammered, having a hard time finding the words and forcing them out, apparently. Shinya gave him his usual shy, soft smile, and a brief nod, causing the man to blush further.

"I think I would like that very much, yes.." was his quiet answer. Die fairly beamed with happiness, his awkwardness quickly forgotten.

"Alright! Ah...Hah...I'll pick you up at eight?" he suggested, to which Shinya nodded. Gently pulling his arm free, he stepped backwards to the door to give Die a small wave then turned to hurry out the door quickly.

Die watched him go, a goofy smile on his face, giddiness rising in his heart. Once the drummer was gone, he let out a triumphant yell and jumped up in the air, pumping his fist.

He had a date with Shinya!

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Shinya eyed his clothes, arms folded over his chest. Miyu sat next to his feet, seeming to do the same as he did.

What did one wear on a date with Die?

Crouching down a bit, Shinya patted his little dog fondly with a smile before scooping her into his arms and cuddling her as he straightened up.

"Hmm...Miyu-chan, what do you think? What do I wear on a date with Die?" he asked. The dog only yipped softly and began licking his face. With a laugh, the drummer nodded and set her down before choosing a plain, white dress shirt and a pair of black, leather pants. Then quickly he slipped into the bathroom to shower and change.

No sooner had he finished drying his hair then the doorbell rang. Quickly Shinya left the bathroom to answer it, smiling widely at the redhead guitarist.

The man was dressed nicely, but not too nicely--a pair of new jeans, and a black dress shirt, his hands shoved nervously into his pocket. His red hair was brushed back, showing off his perfect face; the elder turned a smile to Shinya, and the drummer almost melted.

The smile...

"Ready?" Die questioned, his head tilting to the side curiously. Shinya nodded, turning long enough to scoot Miyu back into the apartment before slipping out, closing the door securely behind him.

And so their night together began.

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It had been a wonderful night, really. They had laughed and talked over a delicious dinner of some sort in a softly-lit restaraunt that was quiet and, without being overly-so, romantic. They shared stories about their childhoods, about what they wanted for the future, and their families.

Shinya was an only child from a wealthy family that owned a bar and an inn. He owned three dogs--Miyu; Miyu's baby, Yuyu; and Puppy. Puppy and Yuyu stayed home with his parents, in Osaka.

Die was from Mie. He had four sisters, and once his apartment had caught on fire, which he tried to put out only to make a mess. He'd been growing his hair out since high school, and was proud of it.

When they finished dinner, they decided to go for a walk, continuing to talk, joking with each other. Die would tease the little drummer, and the drummer would reply; neither could stop smiling. It was perfect in every way.

As they walked, Die carefully slipped his arm around Shinya's waist. At first, Shinya seemed to pull away before he settled against him with a contented smile, and the two of them fell silent as they walked along the abandoned sidewalk near the harbor.

Die broke the silence.

"Hey Shin...?" he ventured quietly.

"...Hm..?" was Shinya's soft answer.

"...Why do you always take my teasings so seriously?" Die asked, the question that had always been on his mind. The blonde frowned slightly in thought, then pursed his lips in a straight line.

"Because...they hurt," he answered quietly. Die frowned this time, then sighed.

"...I don't mean to, you know...But...it's just so much fun to make you angry, you know?" he stated, not thinking too much about how it sounded. The drummer, apparently, took offense.

"See? It hurts, Daisuke! You act as if I don't have any feelings at all! That's exactly what I mean!" he exclaimed, breaking away from the redhead's grasp.

"Hey, Shin-chan...! Don't be like that...I didn't mean it. Really..." Die protested. Shinya shook his head.

"Exactly! You don't mean it...and you don't see how much it hurts me..." he whimpered, his lower lip quivering. Die took a step toward him, reaching out to grab him and pull him close. Shinya tore away, took a step back, and then ran into the street to cross it and get away.

"Wait~! Shin~!" Die called to stop him, taking a step after him. Then he saw the headlights of the car, and his mouth opened to warn Shinya.

Too late. The drummer let out a loud, startled cry. There was a loud thud, then the sound of a small body hitting the pavement, bouncing then rolling before lying still as the car skidded to a stop.

Die's heart stopped and he froze momentarily before he rushed to the drummer's side, dropping to the concrete to turn the smaller one over so that he could see his face, pulling him up into his arms to shake him gently.

"Shinya?! Shinya, Shin-chan! Answer me!" he demanded, shaking him once again. Blood stained Shinya's once-white shirt, blood spilled from his lips, stained his hair, puddled on the pavement around them. It seemed to be everywhere, coming from no particular place on Shinya. "Damnit, Shin!" Another frantic shake; the drummer's dark eyes fluttered open weakly, their depths already fading away as his breathing slowed, his chest barely rising and falling. A trembling hand lifted to press against Die's face, his bloody fingers stroking his cheek lightly, as he smiled just a bit.

"D-Die...I..I love you..." he whispered, his voice nearly lost. Die's eyes widened in shock and horror at the little one's words, choking back a sob. He hugged the frail body close, burying his face against the battered chest before lifting his head again to peer into those dazed orbs of the one that he had loved and admired for so long.

"Shin...I...I love you too...Oh God, no, don't leave me...Not now, Shin, not now..." he whispered hoarsely, choking on his tears.
Yet the younger male had already closed his eyes, and his breath was already fading until at last his chest remained still and his body limp. The redhead let out another sob before holding him closer, allowing himself to cry into his chest, cry for the love he had found and lost in the span of minutes, minutes that would end in years without the love of his life.

I am breaking, losing you....Aishiteru...